If you don't know, now ya know...

Mon, 03 Mar 2008 12:01:01 GMT

I come home Wednesday, lets hangout. I need some girl time and drinking time. Love you!

Wed, 20 Feb 2008 16:06:04 GMT

Type your cut contents here.

Feb 17^th

I feel refreshed after a night at the hotel. We drove to the Masai Mara, which took about 5 hours even though they told us it was 3. We saw the Great Rift Valley. I never knew what that place was except that lots of violence occurred there, however Steve made us feel safe. We do a bunch of random stops along the way, supposedly to “obey nature” as they say. I know this is some scam though. For some reason we always end up at a shop and people try to sell us things. I’ve never had such persistent, annoying, and pushy people try so hard to get me to buy stuff. It’s gotta be one of the most annoying things ever. Our driver has to get some commission if we buy something, I’m sure of it. I told Jen this on day 1 but she never believes me. Finally she is coming around.

Upon entering the park gate the damn Massai women showed us their same jewelry, using the same English phrases as the ones in the past. Jen was grumpy today and I thought she would yell at them, but she stayed calm. She wasn’t so calm when we arrived at our latest campsite. Actually, it’s not even camping so much because we have these tiny shacks to stay in. She started crying immediately. This time she is scared of the people instead of the animals.

We have some of the tribal Massai men work in our campsite. I must say, I’m such a sucker for their tribal gear. They wear these red like dresses and they always have some blanket/shawl thing wrapped around them, usually in purple or a pattern with more red. They have belts that hold their cute knives. At times I have seen some wear cool colored feathers in their hair and some interesting beaded jewelry. I told Steve it’s a good idea that I don’t go to their village. He said that maybe they would trade me for something and asked one of the men how many cows I would go for. One man said 50, which is really good. As for goats, 60. Steve tested me to see if I would be a good Massai wife by asking me the following questions: Can you count the cows, sheep, and goat each day when your man is off at work? I answered yes. Can you fetch the water from the river if there are lions nearby? I answered yes, but only if I had some weapon. I said my biggest problems would be the fact that my husband would have 5 other wives, beat me if I didn’t count the livestock correctly, and most likely my friends would never come to visit me in the tribe.

I asked Steve if Jen was the most scared person he has ever encountered in his 5 years of doing safaris. His answer- yes.

Monday Feb 18, 2008

Last night was another pill popping night. Another airplane-like experience in our shack of a room. I will never be one of those pill poppers, but seriously, there is not much to do here at night.

Today was a great game drive. One of the better looking Massai men came along. His name was Bondi. He was looking at me in a different way than he was looking at Jen. Later I found out that everyone said I liked the Massai men. He probably thinks I wanna be his 5^th wife or something. I need to know how many cows he has before I even think about it though. I really only like their outfits rather than the actual men. Jen and I are trying so hard to have fake crushes. We have changed our lingo a bit to go along with the culture here. A hot guy is worth 30 cows or more. So far I have only seen a guy worth 3.

We saw lots of cheetahs today. They are the sexiest animals alive. I could watch them walk for hours. We were watching one cheetah sneak up on some gazelles, but they move soooo freaking slow that we gave up before the attack went down, if it did go down.

We saw about 100 buffalos at one time, in one place. One had just had a baby, and had some bloody stuff coming out of her vagina. The baby was still wet with the birth goo.

Steve’s goal was for us to see a rhino. For some reason I thought there would be rhinos everywhere, but there aren’t much. In our park there are only about 24, and thanks to Bondi, we found one.

We asked Steve why he hated the wart hogs so much. His reason were the following: they have strings as tails, they have disgusting faces, when the male sits he always sits on his balls (this is true, their balls are literally on the outside of their ass), and when they are scared they go in a hole ass first (I’m not quite sure why this is a negative though).

Today I made Jen not segregate us. Last night the Kenyans were sitting in one area and Jen chose to sit far away from them. I told her I felt weird having the white section and the black section. We brought some chairs over to chat with some of the guys tonight. Everyone talks constantly about Bush, Obama and Clinton. When I ask the men, who are not married, how many wives they want, surprisingly they all say “just one,” “one is enough.” Riiiiiight.

It feels like I have been gone so long already…..

Sat, 16 Feb 2008 20:21:41 GMT

Feb 11^th

I woke up at 6am because I was so excited for what was to come. Our guide picked us up and was with a whole entourage. I felt completely safe, they spoke English, and they even smiled at us! They drove us in this huge land cruiser to our travel agency in Nairobi. We were surrounded by all these Kenyans in the car. It reminded me of the time I was taken from my hostess bar to the police station and there were so many police for only a few of us girls.

The head lady briefed us on what we were going to be doing for the next 10 days. Jen told her that we weren’t going to Lake Nukuru. We even had a strategy planned on what we would say if she tried to convince us it was safe. She did try. She told us that yesterday and 3 days prior they had taken groups there and there were no problems. We didn’t care, we stood our ground, well, Jen did. I just sat there and smiled and nodded my head. I really didn’t want to go to that lake after all the killings, burnings, rapes and other shit that went down last week. Plus someone told me that all you really see there are flamingos. And oh, how much I hate those pink birds that have to stand on one foot all the time. I really feel like they are the most overrated bird of all time. Why does everyone love them so much? Because they are pink? Or because they stand on that one leg? I was definitely happy to cross this off our agenda. So instead of going there we decided to stop by Nairobi on that day and then go to the famous Masai Mara.

After everything was planned we headed off with our driver/guide named Steve and the cook, Peter. Right away I knew I would like Peter. He is that quiet type that you just have to break in. Steve drove us to a national park about 5 hours away from Nairobi. This drive was probably one of the scariest parts of this trip so far, minus the gorillas. Then I realized this was his job, and he would most likely get us to the park alive.

We stopped at some gas station where we were literally bombarded by these people called the Massai people. The car was surrounded by 20 women selling shit. And it was shit. The worst jewelry I have ever seen. I really wanted to buy from them but the stuff they sold was so horrible. Actually they did get me to buy from them. I’m a weakling with that stuff. They were so tricky! They started throwing their jewelry on me and Jen and saying, “it’s free, take it, I know you will remember me next time.” They wouldn’t take back their shitty stuff, so finally I broke and bought an ugly necklace. I thought that this would stop them, but no, it only fueled the fire. I wish they were selling the cool cloths they wore on their backs. Now that was something worth selling. This 20 minute experience seemed to last hours. I think it was all part of the plan.

On the entrance to the park we were bombarded again by these people. They had the same jewelry but then I spotted something under a man’s armpit. It was a cool knife thingy. I bought that since I wasn’t able to smuggle a gun into the airport and we would be out in the wild with no weapons. My knife is now right beside my sleeping bag as I write this.

The park was cool. We saw all the animals we wanted to see. My driver was a bit surprised by my interest in the wart hog and the hippos. He loves the elephants and the lions, he just couldn’t relate to me. I made a little game for myself. I’m trying to take as many pictures of all the male animals and their limp penises. It kinda happened naturally when the bamboon just had his out chilling and his legs spread eagle. And then there was the zebra who had just peed. And the elephant was pretty much posing for this shot. Jen says I’m too immature. She was more interested in taking pictures of the baby animals. We saw a dead buffalo with his ass eaten out. The driver parked at a good spot because Jen told him I was into the open ass thing. Who knows what he made of it. The lion was on the other side of the road looking like it was gonna pass out. Eventually it did.

After a day of watching animals we headed off to our campsite. Jen was surprised when we parked in what seemed like the middle of nowhere. She almost started crying because she was so scared. And here I was who could barely stop smiling by the wonderfulness of all this. How are we even related?

Steve taught us how to do the tents and start the fire. Jen was freaking out about any bug that crossed our paths. She was on bug patrol, had her flashlight out, and was watching the ground for anything that moved. But I was proud of her when a moth landed in her soup and she took it out and continued eating.

Peter was a great cook. The best food I have had in a long time. He even wore a little apron while he was cooking in the dark. Great guy. Still he didn’t socialize much. While Jen and I were talking with Steve, Peter sat far away in his cooking area under the tree.

I did get scared a bit tonight. I went to go to the bathroom which is “oh, just go through those bushes and then turn right and you will see the hole..” When I attempted to use this hole I started seeing lions, and tigers, and bears. My eyes played tricks on me. I came back and Jen was surprised by how fast I was. I lied and told her I forgot toilet paper.

Now in our tent we made our own toilet, Vanessa style. We used our water bottle, my new knife to cut it, and my excellent marksmanship to seal the deal. It is now in the corner of the tent. So basically we are like rabbits.

I can’t wait for more limp penises tomorrow.

Feb 12^th

Today was ok. Last night was difficult for Jen, and me, since she would poke me every few hours and ask “Did you hear that?” She was scared of humans and animals.

There is a lot of down time here. We started off the morning at 6.30am with some tea and then did our game drive, which is where our driver takes us around the park for a couple hours.

I have come to form some solid opinions about some of the animals now. I’m soooo over zebras. I do like that they add some color to this ugly place, but that’s about it. They don’t even pose for cameras. The buffaloes kind of annoy me because our driver always stops at them. I don’t know why. They are nothing special to me. The only thing that have going for them are these horns that look like a George Washington wig and huge ass balls. I will admit though, I was happy our driver stopped at one point because I got a great limp penis shot. The birds are the same as fish for me. I am not interested in the slightest, but our driver will stop for them. Oooh and those gazelles, and wildabeasts, and antelope things just bore me. The only thing they are good for is watching the lions eat them. It’s completely obvious my driver hates stopping for wart hogs. If I do a shriek of joy and get excited he stops. And he seemed like he was annoyed that we were watching the hippos for so long. The elephants are alright if they have babies with them. I saw a mini baby elephant today and Jen couldn’t even appreciate it. I know she is jealous of my binoculars. I like the hyenas. They seem to be a mix of all the worst physical characteristics of certain animals. They just look painful. By far the ugliest animal I have ever seen since the chickens in Thailand.

We ate a hearty meal for breakfast. I have noticed that I am eating a lot here. I wonder if my body is secretly in survival mode. I eat a lot just in case there won’t be a next meal?

We did a lot of sitting around, reading, and nothingness. We had the opportunity to do a cultural thing and watch the Massai people. Supposedly, they dance for us, tell us about their tribe, show us their market, and what not. After the stressful experience yesterday there was no way we wanted to do this thing. It was probably just a tourist trap. They even charge you for pictures with them.

The second game drive was uneventful. We went by the dead buffalo. This time his stomach was eaten and the lion was in the same place. It’s funny how my perception of African animals was formed just from National Geographic and Animal Planet. It makes you think that exciting stuff is always going on, and the animals are always on alert because a tiger or lion is lurking in the bushes. But really, things are so mellow here. The zebras and antelopes frolic around like they will never be attacked.

While we drive I have this secret competition with Steve. I want to spot the animals before him, however he always wins. I feel like driving around the park is like easter egg hunting, we are always looking for that golden egg. The golden egg, in my case, is seeing a lion killing a giraffe, a hippo giving birth, or even a pack of hyenas eating the leftover of something.

Tonight we finally talked to Steve a bunch. Once again Peter was antisocial. Jen tried to include him in the conversation asking “Are you married Peter?” His response was, “And this pot is rice, this one is a stew, and here are peas.” I don’t think he heard the question, but Jen thinks he did.

Tomorrow we are going to Mt. Kenya. All I know is that there is a pub there. Can’t wait. Maybe then, Peter will finally talk to us and put away his apron.

Feb 13-16

I had no electricity for the 4 days so it feels strange to be sitting in this hotel room, watching TV, having a hot shower, and being on the internet. When I asked Jen where her favorite place in Africa is she said this hotel.

The past few days have been cool. Nights were stressful up until the 14^th with Jen freaking out, however we found a solution in Mt. Kenya. If she takes some Ambien she will sleep through all the noises the animals make when they walk near our tents.

I asked Steve if he had ever hit an animal and he said no. Ironically, on our way to somewhere he hit a bird. And he hit the bird like a professional. He didn’t even flinch. Jen screamed and looked like she was going to cry and I laughed. Normally, I wouldn’t laugh at something like this, but I just couldn’t believe the way Steve handled it. He looked back at Jen and continued driving. Later on he apologized for making her cry and went on to say that the bird was meant to die. I was wondering if this was his first animal he ever killed or if birds just don’t count.

Me and Jen have had some discussions lately. I was telling her how some people were so jealous of what we were doing and would love to be able to do it. She said if they actually had the chance they wouldn’t. I pointed out that a lot of people do like camping, especially if it includes a private driver and cook, and surrounded by wild animals. If anything we are high class camping.

I’m surprised that I am not getting annoyed at Jen at all and vice versa. Despite being so opposite on this trip we are getting along really well. She is even in a better mood at times, maybe because she is leaving really soon. She is so homesick for normalcy, family, and her boyfriend. I miss my friends, family, and a boy, but I wouldn’t consider myself homesick. I don’t think I really have a normalcy set up in my life to get sick for.

Valentines day came and went. I wondered if anything went on back home. I hate that holiday.

I talked to Jarred tonight and he is officially coming. I webcammed with him until he bought his ticket just to be on the safe side. I’m so glad Jen is leaving, for my sake and hers. I’m sure me and Jarred will have fun. Hopefully, he doesn’t try to get fresh with me.

Masai Mara for the next few days. The grand finale, so I hear…

Africa

Sun, 10 Feb 2008 19:42:02 GMT

Day 1&2

One of the last things my dad said was “Watch out for your sister.” He was talking to Jen. I got a goodbye note from my mom saying “Listen to your sister Jessy.” I don’t know what I have to do to prove to my parents that I’m not as naïve and stupid as they think. Once I make it out of Africa alive maybe they will think I can fend for myself? Then again, if I come out alive it’s because Jen took care of me.

Our plane from LAX to London was delayed. They said it was some computer glitch, but Jen and I both know it was because Jen held up the plane when she lost her passport, which wasn’t lost at all, only misplaced.

I guess I wasn’t really respectable on the plane. Christina will be proud. I woke up sleeping on my computer, stains on my pants, and a bread roll on my seat. I have no recollection of ever taking out my computer, or receiving dinner. According to Jen when I started eating my chicken I used no utensils. I went at my food like an animal and when that was too difficult I gave up. I had a bunch of mini tasks I wanted to suddenly complete yet couldn’t even start any of them. She said she was so sloshed that she was just watching me in awe, but thought nothing of it at the time. This is what happens when you mix the Ambien and wine together. Later I find out that one side effect of Ambien is that people gain 100 pounds because they wake up and eat like a savage and then have no recollection of what happened. However, I’m not complaining since I went to sleep on a 10 hour flight and then woke up with only 2 hours to go.

The 6 hours of waiting at the London airport was uneventful. I did notice that Joe wasn’t lying when he said the toilets are different there. There is no way a man’s tip could ever touch that water.

London to Nairobi was fast once again, thanks to Ambien. This time I didn’t mix the alcohol in. Jen did though. I kept studying her to see if she did anything embarrassing like me. She had a mad woman look in her eyes, and at times she was playing with her TV screen with her eyes closed.

Everything went according to the plan once we reached Nairobi. The taxi took us to the hotel, slept, ate dinner, Jen got sick, and now we are waiting for the fun to begin.

Day 3&4

Today was another flight. This time Ambien was not needed. It was only an hour or so. Jen continues to be sick. She is getting weaker and weaker, can’t eat, can barely hold her bags. An old lady on the shuttle today actually gave Jen her seat. I tell her that she is making herself sick, but I secretly think she has come down with a case of malaria, mixed with homesickness. I’m already assuming I will be spending my last two weeks in Africa alone with my tour guide.

Jen mentioned to my parents that she was thinking of coming home early and of course they are stoked on this idea. But what makes me rage is the text my dad sent to Jen and asked her specifically to read to me. Basically he said that the two people he loved dearly were in a third world country where everyone is killing each other. He said that Jen and I separating was not an option. What we had to do was come to a reasonable compromise. Compromise!? I could almost hear him say to me “If your little sister is sick and wants to come home, then you better too.” Oh, because Jen isn’t feeling up to par and she misses home I need to do what’s best for the family and come home? I feel fine and I am so excited to be here I don’t know why I would even have to consider compromising. Jen had the idea of coming home secretly. We were wondering who my Dad would be angry at –Jen for coming home and leaving me, or me for staying in Africa and not accompanying Jen home. We figure it’s the latter, since in this case, I’m suddenly back to being the eldest sister with all the responsibilities.

So much flying and driving. I just want to see some cool animals already!

February 8^th

Despite paying 8 months ago for the special permits to see the mountain gorillas we didn’t actually get them. And I love how our tour guide let us know this bit of information after we already flew to Rhwanda. We have permits for tomorrow though. This travel company screwed up or something.

So today instead of gorilla trekking like planned our tour guide took us to Lake Kivu. And I wouldn’t even call him much of a tour guide. He speaks about 5 words of English and I’m pretty sure he hates me and Jen. I didn’t mind seeing the lake since I read so much about it in a book I just read about some girl’s tales while living through the genocide. However, today was cloudy and the lake, well, it’s a lake.

Our guide took us to at least 100 different stopping points on this lake. Jen and I didn’t know how to react. What did most tourists do when they came to these stopping grounds? We took some pictures and then we stood around awkwardly. At least Jen would step up and say “Ok, we are done here, thank you.” I just giggled at all that was going on, as I would.

We were trying to see some method in the places he stopped. It was always his friend’s restaurant or a hotel that his cousin worked at. I had a theory that he was searching for weed the whole time. Although I couldn’t understand what he was saying, I was convinced. Maybe I am just used to how things work in Thailand. When I asked him if he smoked marijuana his face lit up but he said, “No, it is prohibited here.” I didn’t buy it.

Once he realized we weren’t so into the lake we went around to places with kids. Jen and I took the typical touristy pics of the poor little kids with snot running down their noses, flies in their eyes, and a 5 year old holding a 1 year old. The kids were cute. My favorite was the 2 year old boy wearing an orange pumpkin shirt.

Ewww Jen just threw up for the 20^th time. She’s on the bed right now puking in a bag. The toilet doesn’t flush and the shower doesn’t really drain so the bag is our best bet. I’m hoping it doesn’t have any holes though. She’s crying about how she wants to go home, and I can’t stop laughing at this situation. Poor girl, she can’t enjoy anything. I am telling her to stop the malaria pills because maybe that’s the cause but with her luck she would catch that disease the second she got off the pills. Today, for example, first thing that happens to her when she gets out of the car is get a bug in her eye. I’m wondering what she is being punished for…

I came up with the idea that maybe Jarred could replace Jen. We texted him today and said he would only have to pay for a plane ride. He seems into it. I hope he comes, I need some good energy out here.

Anyways, maybe tomorrow will be better?

Feb 9^th- Gorilla Day!

So today was the day we had been waiting for. Actually, I was kinda neutral. I remember Jen telling me about this hiking trip, in which you see gorillas. It was $500 for the permit to enter this place and that just seemed a bit steep to see gorillas. And on top of it you weren’t even guaranteed to see them. With my luck I knew I probably wouldn’t see gorillas. Jen said if I was worried about that then we could pay for two days, and it would be a 99% chance of seeing them. I remember asking how close we really got to them and she said “Well a gorilla stole a girl’s ipod one time. Cmon, Jess when are you going to go to Africa again?” She convinced me. And the way I figured it I made that money selling my underwear in Japan and 6 conversations with Japanese men over a nice dinner.

Like I said our tour company sucked so we only had today to see them. Our guide’s name was Patience. And his name couldn’t fit any other person better. Our group consisted of 4 other Americans, a German, and a Brit. Prior to our group we filled out info about us and gave our physical condition. Jen made me cross out my Great! And put good, because she still wasn’t up to par. So the guide told us we were gonna see a family of gorillas, with lots of babies and one male.

Everyone had their drivers take them to the location. No surprise, our trip started off bad with our stupid driver going the wrong way. We made everyone in our group wait about an hour due to him.

Before we walked even 15 minutes Jen had to sit down. This was the most important thing to her on this trip and I was having sympathy pains for her. People gave her some food and water to give her energy and we started on our way. Patience said the gorillas were only about a 40 minute walk up the mountain.

We walked through the typical jungle. There were plants that stung you through your clothes no matter what you were wearing. I remember the Brit getting really angry at these particular plants and going on a rampage hitting them with his cane. I didn’t understand the point since we were surrounded by millions of these things, and why waste the energy? Bugs were crawling all over my shoes, my pants, and at one point my sleeve had tiny white worms on it. I was slipping and sliding in the mud, tripping over my walking stick, and causing some landslides.

Patience would tell us over and over, “We are almost there.” I learned that in Rwanda,”almost there” means just a few more hours. Jen was ready to give up, and I really thought she would pass out. I was worried so much for her, I just wished I could be the one feeling like shit.

We went up certain parts of the mountain I thought were impossible, and up parts that were even more so. The system they had going was have various guys around the mountain keeping Patience updated on what the gorillas were doing and where they were.

After we finally reached the highest point of the mountain Patience sadly told us “The gorillas have gone to a location where it is impossible for us to get to. We will not see them today.”

Everyone was bummed. Me and Jen especially, since this was our only day to see them. This was the only reason we were in this damn country.

After 10 minutes of resting Patience got word that we may be able to reach them. Jen said she was giving up, but he gave her a pep talk and made her walk in the front with him. He was a great man. One of the Americans decided he couldn’t do it anymore and went back. Everyone was getting kinda bitter and cranky. So another 20 minutes went by of the usual hiking. Patience held Jen’s hand the whole way and then I saw her get excited. Finally we spotted the gorillas. They were jumping in and out of the trees across the valley on the other mountain. We thought that was it, but Patience told us that we would cross the valley and climb up the other mountain. I was a bit delirious with exhaustion and laughed. I just didn’t think we could actually do it. My legs were dying on me, I couldn’t even imagine how Jen was feeling. Crossing the valley was the easy part, but going up the second mountain seemed impossible. Jen once again said she couldn’t do it. Our group kept cheering her on and giving her words of encouragement. We all made it up the hill with the help of 4 Rwandians. At this point we didn’t even care anymore about the stinging plants, the bugs, the gross mud filled with worms.

And then….we saw them! We saw a mom and her baby eating some food, maybe 5 feet away. Patience told us to continue walking and then we were in this section where we were surrounded by gorillas and baby gorillas. My exhaustion went away and I was in complete awe. They were so close. About 2 feet away from me, and that’s only because I was staying back. Some people in our group were touched by them. I couldn’t even take decent pictures because I was sooooo nervous and my hands were shaking. It was the most incredible feeling. Suddenly everything about this trip seemed worth it. Patience would tell us not to worry and sometimes to stop taking pictures. Whenever a gorilla would come towards me I secretly inched my way behind him. All of a sudden Jen was the strong one and I was the weakling. These things were massive, weighing about 400 pounds. I couldn’t believe how much they resembled Vanessa. After the gorillas left we started our trek back down the mountain and then accidently ran into them again just lounging around. The babies were playing with each other, the mom was lifting her baby up and then throwing it down, the man was grooming one of his many wives. It was amazing.

We finished the wonderful gorilla trek to meet our driver. Let me just say that everyone here seems to get along really well with their drivers, you know, doing the secret handshakes, making some jokes, actually conversing with them, and ours has never smiled at us. But afterwards he gave Jen and me some handshake and it was so awkward. I think he wanted to be like the other drivers.

Feb 10^th

Today we flew back to Kenya. I can’t believe how modern Kenya seems now compared with Rwanda. I don’t even feel like I’m in a third world country at the moment. We are staying at a nice hotel with wireless!! Jen booked her ticket home for the 20^th. So it’s official, she is leaving me. She stopped taking her malaria meds so it’s not sickness causing her to go home, she has admitted to homesickness and feeling unsafe. There were just 1,000 people killed here over the last 2 months so it is understandable. There are pretty much no foreigners here. Now that I think about it, maybe she is the smart one and I am the stupid one…Hopefully Jarred pulls through and meets me in Tanzania so I won’t be safaring all alone. Tomorrow is the start of our 10 day campout. First time with no hot water, or any water for that matter, no electricity, no toilets…Can’t wait!

Wed, 19 Dec 2007 08:47:58 GMT

I'm in Japan now. Delays aren't so bad when you have internet. I will be home in 13 hours or so. I can't wait for me bed...and too see my beautiful gfs of course.

Sun, 09 Dec 2007 13:17:10 GMT

Everyone who comes here loves it. I loved it when I came in October. I only stayed 2 weeks. I'm not talking about Thailand. Just Koh Tao. This is an island with less than 5,000 people, all of who are either speed freaks, complete stoners, or alcoholics. I don't feel guilty for saying it's not that great. I'm not missing anything that others are seeing. I think I just see more.

I used to think I knew what being a stoner was. But nothing prepared me for the stoner life in Koh Tao. These people are like starving wolves. By people I mean the men, the boys, the old men. The guys on this island have a life that is based around weed. If they don't have it they are searching for it. Search, buy, smoke. It's a constant cycle. If I started a weed injection business on this island I would become rich. And probably get sentenced to the death penalty. Sometimes I question whether being a stoner is the way life should be.Or being in an altered state of mine is better. I have realized that I guess it's ok for those who chose. But not me. I just don't get how people can do the same, boring, nothing every day. Sure there are those people that can do drugs and go on fine with life. For example most of the tatoo artists here do some drug, speed maybe, and they do great work. Very precise and exact. Some have dreams. The actually smoke and work and save. But most of the people here are just barely getting by. Some I know like the simple life. They have only what they need and they are completely fine with that. But I don't think everyone who barely gets by wants the simple life. I'm not sure if they dont care about things like I care about things or if they think they can't do something. I wonder if it is a westernized way of thinking to have so many dreams and think you can accomplish anything. I grew up with my parents saying I can do anything I wanted. I dont think the people here grow up with that mentality.

And the point is? I'm ready to come home. Move on to something else. It's easy to get stuck on this little island, flaws and all. But what am I even working for? I don't really know what I want. Sigh...Am I finding myself right now? hehe. I hate that phrase.

Tue, 04 Dec 2007 09:30:23 GMT

Rainy season seems to be over. It's been really hot lately. No more little rivers or fake waterfalls. Dry, dry, dry. It's funny, or ironic maybe, the hotter it is here the more you see people wearing more clothes. Heaven forbid their skin gets dark. You don't wanna look like a burmese person. Even my bf does it. We were hiking in 30 degree C weather, maybe that's like 90degrees F? I don't know, it's hot and he wears this thick jacket. He doesnt do anything else to look attractive. It just shows how important keeping your skin as light as possible is here. There's probably commas in that sentence but I'm a lazy writer.

I come home in 2 weeks. It's crazy that time went by so fast. At times I get sad that I'm leaving this kind of lifestyle, and other times I am sooo ready to leave.

I don't know what me and my bf are gonna do. I'm not in love, and he's not in love. I like him. Sometimes. I prefer to sleep with animals. This is something that I realized justa few weeks ago. I'm starting to think I will be alone in the longrun. In the way future. Maybe I pick the wrong guys, but it seems like all of them that I choose need so much attention. So many times now and in the past I have thought why do I even want to be with this person? What do they do for me? I think I am too selfish to have a bf maybe. I was thinking what I have gotten out of my past relationships. And I did learn things. Cliff taught me that no matter what, guys can not be trusted. Mel taught me to share. This is a really good lesson for me. I am horrible at sharing. Or I was. It started becuase I didn't want to give him my last piece of gum. Thank goodness for this lesson because I would have many problems socially in Thailand. Japan, as well. Ryan taught me that after a heartbreak, no matter how tough it is, the heart can heal. Nilo taught me that there is life outside of Orange County. Other countries are really worth visiting. And he was right, the fruit in California, is horrible. The bf now, Ohm, I'm not sure what he has taught me. Maybe I will see later.

I feel like a withering flower out here. I flat ironed my hair the other day to look kinda nice. I think the motorbike rides are really making me look old. When I say I am 25 years old no people are surprised anymore. I actually look my age. And I am not aging well. I think I need some botox. Or maybe some makeup. I haven't worn makeup for so long. I don't know how people can wear it here with the humidity. It always feels so sticky.

Mon, 19 Nov 2007 17:39:27 GMT

Almost all the island guys here are total sluts. And who wouldn't be when you get new girls shipped in daily. I'm stupid and of course fell for one of them last year. They tell you these stories about growing up and their life and you think, wow, they are so different and interesting. My one friend thought it was so cool that a guy she fell for grow up under a coconut tree and had a coconut farm. Turns out everyone here seems to have grown up under a coconut tree with a coconut farm. I've learned that I am living in the south, and the south here is kinda the equivalent as the south in America.

Anyways I met a the fiance of one of my bf's friends last Jan. At the time I didn't know her bf at all, I just was surprised to find out that him and the girl had been together for 3 years. He seemed like the typical island playboy. I asked if she had any problems with him being unfaithful and she said there was only 1 time and although it was difficult they got through it and have remained together. He was only 19 at the time, and being 3 years older she figured he matured. And on top of it she was 4 months pregnant with their baby and they were planning on getting married.

The past few months stayin on this island I have come to know her bf a little bit, and not only is he a slut but he has a huge reputation I didn't know about. She has been in England the past 6 months becuase of the pregnancy. I have talked to her fiance's girls that he brings around and they tell me they have been warned about him. People tell the girls that he is with a new girl every night. One girl told me how he would say he loved her and wanted to break up with the fiance. When the fiance told me his girl was coming out to Thailand I asked if he was going to hide all his other gfs. He just laughed and said something about how he would jsut stay home everyday, work, and no smoking or doing other drugs. I feel so bad that this guy talks so openly about lying to her. He always tells me about the latest girl from New Zealand, or Sweden, or England, and when I ask him why he even has a gf he says -she is the mother of my child. Ewww, that's the same lines all the Japanese men would say to me. I want a gf, my wife doesnt matter, she is only the mother of my children.

She came to Koh Tao a few days ago and is stayin for a bout 2 weeks. Today was the first time her boy brought her around to my bf's place. I know he is worried about what I will say. He already quized me and told me the lies I need to say if she asks. I hate being in this position. I hope she doesnt ask me anything. Today we only talked for 5 min. She is so sweet, and the baby so cute. I know she really loves this guy. I feel bad for her.

Fri, 16 Nov 2007 15:26:50 GMT

I've been homesick lately. Or maybe more friendsick. Same thing? I don't know. Not really. If I had my friends here I wouldn't feel this way. Everytime I am off somewhere there is always that thought -if only so and so were here to see this or enjoy this with me. Maybe I'm feeling alone. It's not the lack of English speakers. It's the lack of weirdos. Friends that I can talk to and other people will have no idea what we are talking about. Unless we have our normal conversations about specific details about something to do with sex.

Every conversation out here is the same. It's always the same questions-how long you here for? where are you going next? where you from? blah blah blah. The few times I say something slightly random people look at me like I'm crazy. I'm realizing that a lot of people dont have a sense of humor. Or get my sense of humor.

I'm over Thailand. I wanna go somewhere else. Preferably not a 3rd world country. I just can't bring myself to think of living in America yet. I keep feeling like once I live in America and get a job I am settling. I will stay there and do the same thing every day. Get married and have kids. I know I can do things differently but this thought is so stuck in my head. Living in America means settling down.

I wanna live in another country. But suddenly I don't want to go alone. I wish I could go somewhere with someone. I hate that I don't like California.

Thu, 08 Nov 2007 14:01:08 GMT

It's rainy everyday. The electricity goes out almost everyday. The showers are too freakin cold. I found 2 ants in my soup today. Good thing they float so I can spot them right away. Everything smells like mildew. I guess this is the jungle life I wanted? I need to rethink my wants again. I can't wait for some civilization. Warm showers. A bed with sheets and blankets that don't smell bad. Friends that do more than just get stoned. I miss you guys. I miss you too America.

Sun, 28 Oct 2007 08:05:42 GMT

I knew one of the cats would bring me a rat today. They pooped in the house today and got in trouble. I thought that maybe in their heads they would try to make up for this by bringing me a rat. And I can see boy cat with a rat in his mouth waiting to come in. I closed the door cuz the smell from these dirty rats is unbearable. This must be a really great life for a cat. So many things to do over here.

It's been a day with no rain. The streets are still flooded though. But at least the water only goes up to my ankles rather than the middle of my shins. I didn't die last week or ride in a boat that capsized. I had to do the visa run. I chose to go to Burma since it's the closest to where I am. I know pretty crazy things are going over there now but I just went to the edge of it. I kinda felt like a sneaky immigrant being snuck over. I took the night boat, which was about 6 hours. 11am-5am. I couldn't sleep. When Ohm told his friends I was doing the visa run on that particular night they said -you cant! the waves are too high! That made me really excited to get on a boat. So every time the boat tipped too much I would look out the window and pray to God. I knew where all the exits were but I was having a problem imagining the boat turned over and water coming and and trying to get out. Could I break the windows? They seemed pretty strong. I got even more scared when I saw a thai man grab some lifejackets for him and his family. So I wasnt the only one worried I guess. Somehow we made it to the mainland in one piece. A man in a van yelled - visa run, visa run! And I jumped in the van. We drove for about 2 hours, went to thai immigration, got our passport stamped, took another boat for 1 hour to burma, got my passport stamped again, took the boat back, drove 2 hours, then got on another boat. Visa runs suck.

Just some observations

Tue, 23 Oct 2007 15:48:50 GMT

It takes a while for anyone to get anything done here. Everyone moves in slow motion. The 2 times people actually seem in a hurry are when they are riding on their motorbikes or picking their noses. I often wonder why the people drive so fast. Dogs, cats and frogs are killed daily by the fast motorbike drivers. They really don't care if they kill any animals. And you should see the way they search for gold up there. It's as if there really is gold. Maybe that saying came from Thailand? They just jam that finger or fingers up there and dig dig dig. I used to get grossed out by Ryan picking his nose. But I have to say, the Thais have grossed me out much more. And to even make a fuss about someone washing their hands. That seems so ummm, I can't think of the word, but I guess it seems so high-class. Like a English woman with white gloves sipping tea with her pinky out. I've seen the people working the food places pick their noses, the men touch their penises as they guide their pee into the right spot, and popping their zits right before they serve you your food. I've noticed that the people will use any type of reflection to pop zits-computer screens, motorbike mirrors, and any metal that has a reflection. Some people have jobs, in which they hold a fly swatter and keep the flies away from the food. I swear they are just being kind and giving someone a job because they couldnt really care about cleanliness.

Here the Thai people say farung (this is only white people) are free sex. They say it as if it's a bad thing that farung people have sex, casual sex and it's free. Sorry I'm not asking for money like all the thai girls and having sex with old fat men. Speaking of the old fat men with the lil thai girls, it's disgusting. I'm actually on a small island so it's not so huge over here, but it can still be seen.

Ask any Thai person here and they will say the trash is because of the farung. I've been here almost 6 months and I have never seen a farung litter, however I see the Thai people litter everday.

Mon, 22 Oct 2007 10:39:47 GMT

http://www.juju-factory.com/magazine/

I was cleaning out my email inbox and I found an email from this girl that I did some modeling for in Japan. I totally forgot about it and now I checked out the website. I almost didn't put it up there becuase I look sooooooooo disgusting and fat. But then again, you are my friends and you already know I'm disgusting. Maybe you can have a good laugh. Uhhhhh, idiot shivers..

Tue, 21 Aug 2007 13:02:10 GMT

I found out a few days ago that the guy I had assumed was gay is for sure gay. Me, him and this other girl live at the house right now. We get along great. But now that he fully admits he's gay we could ask all kinds of questions. Unlike u guys, I have never had a gay friend. This will be my first. I would really love to have one of the ladyboys out here to be my friend, as well. I need to learn how to strut my stuff like them. But I learned so much about the gay world last night.

I was pretty bummed last night and couldnt sleep for hours. I would just like to hear something from Ohm. Anything would be nice. A fuck you and I never wanna talk to u again would do. But I guess it is just finished with the no more contact. Same thing happened to me in Japan. It sucks. I'm thinking of what karma brought this on. Maybe that guy I always took money from in japan, and after i left japan i just stoopped talking to him. However i did tell him that that was my last email. hmmmm...

I keep thinking of how I'm gonna get back my flattening iron, curler, shoes, and blow dryer. I hope he doesnt throw them out. I have all these different scenarios of me just showing up after not talking for a month and goin into his place and geting my things. I calculated the money spent to travel there and the money spent on the items. It is def worth it to go over there. Plus I could leave him with one good looking impression of me. Maybe he will yell at me and not let me in. Maybe it will be a fake smile, fake hello, and final fake goodbye. Maybe there will be a new girl there. Maybe i can just show up and leave, and he will never know I came. Maybe he will say he was sooooooooo stupid and beg me to take him back.

I've never been one to be into accents but these the way these scots talk is wonderful. I could actually see myself liking a white scottish boy. They are some great people. Well the guys at least. I havent met any scottish women.

I'm looking forward to this weekend.

Mon, 20 Aug 2007 11:19:01 GMT

Last week passed fast yet again. We celebrated 2 birthdays. One night I got kinda drunk and one of my fellow peers was hitting on me hardcore. It was nice to feel somewhat hot.

I applied to a few different jobs and landed an interview in Koh Samui. I was pretty stoked since this is the place I wanna work and i heard it was hard. ANyways, Ohm is pissed about me working on a different island than him and says I'm lying about stuff.

I went the 7 hours away this weekedn to koh samui for a job interview. After what seemed like a million questions i got a job! Yay! I will be living on the same island as Hayden, and only 1 hour away from Ohm. However, I think me and him are gonna break up. THe past few days he hasnt called me, and the one time we did talk it didnt go over well. He is waaaaaay angry at me. I gave him a text today asking if he will be angry forever.

The people here all had stereotypes of OC girls. They said I have changed their view completely about us. Are we typical oc girls tho?

Mon, 13 Aug 2007 09:29:22 GMT

So I have been here about a week?

My one night in bangkok was nothing special. I slept in a hotel as soon as i got there. The next day i got my phone and i was ready to take the bus to phuket where my tefl training course would be held for the month.

The bus ride was a 24 hour experience, including a bus, a truck, a shitty bus, a couple hours of waiting. I met a nice Indonesian boy and his 2 brothers. He was kinda a babe. My type babe, obviously nothing you girls would be interested in. He asked me the question "is it true people move out of their parents home when they finish college???" He said this with wide eyes and a voice making this question sound like it was the wierdest thing this guy has ever heard. I told him about the american way and he was amazed.

When I first got to Phuket I went to the house i was staying at and fell asleep instantly. My room is nice, huge bed, hot water, big bathroom and a cleaning lady every Friday. For 100 bucks a month it is really nice.

The first couple days consisted of me and Ohm fighting on the phone becuase I didnt stop by and see him first. It was a long misunderstanding. Him saying im a liar and me sayin he is not a good listener. Good listener? Or lack of english skills?

My first day of class I met the rest of the 15 classmates. Boys and girls from america, australia, scotland, nigeria, canada, and the uk. We all get along surprisingly well and have been having a lot of fun together so far. The american men are loud and obnoxious drunks, the scots are greeeeat guys, and the african man is kind of a loner. Speaking of which, he just scolded me right now for having a cup of water by the computer, which wasnt even mine, and then he handed me a different water. This guy is a bit strange.

Our first day of class we did a 3 minutes presentation of anything. I talked about the deportation thing. Everyone was way into my story.

This Friday me and ohm met halfway. He traveled 6 hours by boat and i went 4 hours by van to meet up at his moms house. It was a pretty perfect weekend. He was sooo nice to me and seemed to be really into me. He did say some annoying things tho, like saying he will never love again and he had his one and only love in the past. Uhhh sounds so like nilo. I always get these guys hung up on their exes. I do like the not worrying about sayin i love u tho .Those words alway sstress me out. With him i dont have to worry about it.

Me and ohm and his mom were talking the other day about cheating. She was saying how ohm's gf in the past was shitty and cheated and lied to him. She said she didnt want me to dissapoint him. I said ya, i dont want him to disappoint ME. I mentioned how I'm at an unfair advantage cuz her son has this perception that all foriegners cheat and dont take relationship seriously. She responded with " oh I always thought that too." ha. wow. I had to explain that all over the world there are good and bad bfs and gfs. In america we have a mix. I hate the stereotypes people have about people when they dont really know. SHe asked me why I like ohm cuz he has messy hair and dresses bad. "thai girls dont like guys like this. They like clean looking men." "oh well, in america my friends and i like the dirty guys. the dirtier the better."

Ive taught 2 lessons so far. Kinda nerve wracking cuz we are teaching in front of our peers and another teacher. The thai people are so much more fun to teach than the japanese. The thais can make jokes about things as well as themselves.

Tue, 27 Feb 2007 19:28:19 GMT

Lately nothing much has been going on. My life has been work. How Japanese of me, ne? Sometimes I struggle with myself. There's the good me and the bad me. I can use people easily out here for money. I can play with people's hearts and make money. Sometimes there is a side of me that thinks, "well they are stupid, they deserve this." And there is another side of me that says "Jess, this isnt you. Treat people with respect. And be honest." I'm completely dishonest out here. Mama san told me tonight "You are the #1 girl now." I told her that I wasnt and that Layla was, my good friend and fellow californian. She said I have the best customers and to milk them for all they are worth. "I feel bad pushing" I said, "and sometimes I want to sound like a friend not a hostess." She told me to realize that I was a hostess and that it was my job to make the men waste all their money on me. "This job isnt about honesty. This job isnt about love," Mama san told me. However this isnt me. I feel like I'm not good at it at all, but my sales show that I'm doing ok. Everyone tells me that I cant keep using my body and that i need to start using my head. But that is just that job. I am thinking of quitting soon. I hate being pressured to pressure someone.

The other job. Teaching English is going well. I'm making great money. I want to save and save and save and then travel the world. Right now I'm just looking forward to Amsterdam and those fun lil cafes me and sister will go to.

I have been calling people on skype lately but it's hard to get on the right hours. I have been having Thai lesssons with my Thai bf in, obviously, Thailand. He is not really my bf but i like him.

I am not interested in any guys in Japan. Since I have been back, which is about over a month, I have not kissed anyone or even had a crush. I have really been keeping a distance from all the playboys. Maybe in America I got back to my old goody goody self. I feel back to normal. For a while I was crazy out here

I have lost 2 kilos. What is that in America?? Like 5 pounds or something. Everyone is telling me how great and healthy I look. I can fit into my old pants. I hope it stays like this.

Lately I have been getting really angry at the prissy Jap girls. They do everything in slow motion and i just wanna smack them at times. the way they talk, put on lotion, eat food, get dressed, fold things, sooooooo slow. I dont like slow moving objects.

I feel like I'm using Japan. I'm not hating it here anymore, but I'm not loving it. I am completely using it for the easy money.

My gf got raped the other day. The fellow american I was talking about. She was in Roppongi, the foreign center. She was drunk and alone. A jap put a pill in her mouth, took her to a karaoke box, raped her, and then took allher money. I cried for her. Some guy, an american guy, told me she deserved it since she was drunk and alone. So any girl who is drunk deserves to be raped? I wanted to butt rape him for that comment. If I had had a penis i woulda pinned him against a wall and butt raped him. With no lube.

Anything new in America?????

Fri, 02 Feb 2007 20:41:24 GMT

Tokyo is the craziest place in the world. Just when i thought i knew it things like tonight happen.

Mon, 01 Jan 2007 10:45:27 GMT

It's 2007. I can't believe it. I'm dreading it alil. Last year was an amazing year. One of the best years in my life. I don't think it could get much better than that. I guess maybe if I was in love or something. But then again love mighta ruined it all. 2006 was the first year that I wasn't overcome with depression. Maybe it has to do with the fact that I started drinking alcohol? Well I started eating peanuts too. Maybe it's the fact that I started eating vanilla icecream. Already 2007 is starting off bad. No NYE kiss. I'm supposed to go to Thailand and bombs went off today killing 2 people. I'm writing in LJ right now at 2:43 am. Shouldnt I be out somewhere? I guess NYE can't be good too many times in a row. I never really expect it to be good. Next year should be great. NY was fun 3 years in a row. Or was it only 1? Anyways I woulda sat out 2 rounds if i was playing black jack. Ok, no battery. Another bad thing. Ohhhh 2007. I dont want you.

Sat, 16 Dec 2006 09:12:25 GMT

Grrr. You really can only count on one person- yourself. Soooooooooo annoying. I hate relying on people. I am always reliable for others. Why doesnt it happen with me?

Lately I have been feeling lonely. I really want a bf.. A good one. Therefore I wont have one until after August, since I will never find a good bf in Japan.

I have been wearing myself down. I am so tired. But I guess it's all worth it in the end. I will have a month of relaxation soon. Oooooh soo soon. I cant wait.

I gotta go drinking with my ex student tonight and wish him farewell. I wanna go out tonight but none of my gfs are available.

Mon, 11 Dec 2006 02:36:39 GMT

I started this new thing. You know how guys say they are gay and then suddenly they pull chicks? I tried it recently and it got me a hangout with Yu boy. One of the hottest boys in Japan. I know you cant keep up with my boys, but he is the half spanish half jap one. I not only say i am lesbian but I say I have completely given up on Japanese guys. After I told him I turned lesbian he told me to come hangout at his house. So weird. I'm over him, but he is nice to lookat. So lastnight I went to work for a lil, got drunk in preparation for my night with Brenda. Lately she has been meeting up with people from the internet and we have had some random nights. We went to an Izakaya with these random japanese boys, nothing special. We then proceeded to Yellow this club where they play all techno music, MY FAVORITE! I kept getting in trouble, with the workers coming up to me crossing their fingers into an x and telling me I cant sleep on the stairs, or here, or there. I thought I was sneaky and found a lil hidden spot but they alwasys seemed to find me. After my third attempt at sleeping was ruined I told Brenda we needed to go. I saw that Yu boy had called me along with Eduardo. I called Yu boy, and then took a taxi to his place around 4am alone. We hungout with his friend, my favorite idol guy, actually he is my lj icon. We drank some more and I talked shit on Japanese people, and made fun of yu saying he was gay, and that we can have a perfect friendship since now I am gay too. But I really think he is gay. He tried proving ot me that he wasnt and tried kissing me but i turned my face and acted disgusted. I really just wanna be friends with him. I dont want more. And I told him that. But somehow we ended up in his room and we kinda just started kissing. I kept stopping it and saying I just wanna be friends and it worked like a charm. He wanted to get sleazy, which kinda surprised me since I hear he has no game and needs a lady to take charge. I denied, denied, denied. I wonder if Jin told him about our lil night in Orange County. Then me him, and Tomo went to bed together and slept like a big happy family. I thought it was funny that I slept in a bed with Tomo since I used to watch his tv show and talk about him nonstop with my coworkers. He is a nice boy. I dont think he has any idea i have stickers of him all over my computer.

Hayden comes this week. I leave next weeek. Ahhh, a month with no work. How I cant wait.

Wed, 06 Dec 2006 14:00:01 GMT

Finally I'm at home at a decent hour. I love cancellations. I love flexible jobs.

My hostess job is going good, but I'm getting pressure from Mama (that is what you call the manager lady) to be #1. Our #1 girl quit recently after she got knocked up by one of the philipino workers so now Mama wants me to be the best girl. I doubt it though. This job you really cant get by on only looks. You definitely need to putout. the past girl was disgusting but she definitely had sex with people. At first I was surprised by how non sleazy this job was, but now as I am getting to know the girls I am learning that it is what you do outside of the club hours that make you get the big money. You dont necesarily have to have sex, but you do need to hangout with them. 5 hours a night is enough for me. Maybe I am the only girl that is perfectly content with the hourly wage. People just get too greedy. Fiona the old #1 girl showed me the tricks to getting money which include, NEVER crossing your legs, as that shows you think you are powerful, secretly pour alcohol onto the carpet if you are a non drinker, so the men will then have to buy another bottle, act jealous when you see "your" man talking to other women, and have sex, haha. She never told me that part, and I never asked. Her customer told me the whole story though. All the girls that work there talk about how this job hardens you, how it makes you lose your innocence and makes one jaded. "Never do this job for too long" is what the Canadian girl advised. "It fucks with your mind." I think I may be different from the rest, however. I dont take this job seriously at all, i actually really like it. It is so easy. I hear girls saying that this is the hardest job they have ever had. It's a job, and it is separate from my real life, and I think of all the men I talk to as just part of a job, not really my real life. But some girls, there whole life is hostessing. And that is sad. I hear it sneaks up on you. Many girls supposedly started out with my same mindset, and then before you know it you are a 24 hour hostess. Everything and everyone is a business. Before the men arrive all the girls are sitting and talking. It is divided into 3 groups. YOu have the russians and romanians together, the americans and canadians, and the philipinos.

In other news I got my first modeling job for some department store, that is for chubby people. So I guess I am a plus size model over here, haha
I didnt even know they had plus sizes in Japan.

I was walking in Roppongi the other day and I went by the pet store and I almost died when I saw a pig. A lil black pig! it was for 600Bucks, waaaay too much, but maybe worth it. I was considering asing my owner if a pig is allowed in my room. I wonder if I could sneak it in? I wonder if they are quiet, i have no idea.

Mon, 20 Nov 2006 17:19:34 GMT

Its 230am here. I leave today! It feels like xmas. I am so excited. I can't believe it has been over a year since I saw my parents and some friends. I wonder if I will get culture shock. I need to finish packing. lallaalala

Fri, 17 Nov 2006 18:48:18 GMT

You know when you look at the situation you are in, and you just think "how the hell did I get here?" I dont know, I know V understands, that used to happen to us a lot with our lil adventures. But anyways, these past few weeks have been insane. I think I have had this thought almost everyday. I dont know where to start. Maybe it was last night when I found myself in this guys apartment and the 2 guys were wearing elephant g-strings. My gf was wearing some maid costume, and I got stuck with the sleazy slut costume. It's fun to have a gf that has a rich bf. Sometimes work feels like a junior highschool dance. All the girls are about 5 inches taller than every guy and when we slow dance there heads can rest on our boobs. I have had offers to go to Hawaii and Thailand, all expenses paid, as well as shopping sprees. My roommate reinforces my view that Japanese people are stupid. I have done a complete circle since I came to Japan. I hated japanese before, then i loved them, and now im back to hating them. Ok, not everyone. But so many times the people I meet fit the stereotype I have in my head. I could be deaf and have a conversation with most of these people here because the questions are always the same. The responses are always the same. I respect those that are different. However many people that have lived here for a while will say the same thing "I hate Japanese, but I love Japan." People say I'm the white hitch. Half of my lessons I am telling the guys how to sound cool when they talk to foreigners. I think Japan has hardened me. Jin called me the other day. My first Jap boy I really liked. He called to apologize for his behavior 10 months ago. He is living in California for 6 months. I guess all the fame and everything was making him depressed so he wanted to go somewhere to study enlgish and get away from the famous life. He wants to see me when i get back. I told him all my friends will hate him. But I forgive him since he apologized so I told him maybe he can come gamble with us. He keeps calling and wants to talk but I never have any time. Now who is playing hard to get? However I am not playing, I just am. teehee.

Sun, 12 Nov 2006 14:05:23 GMT

Things are moving so quickly lately. I have finally adjusted to Tokyo again. I would say, about last week I was used to the life. I'm working my ass off over here. But it feels good since I decide what kind of workload I want. I havent had a weekend since Thailand maybe. I recently got another job as a hostess. That job where you just sit, talk, and drink with guys. Monday- Saturday I work. After my lessons I rush to the richest area in Tokyo (Ginza) and put on my nice dress and heels and talk to these men until 2am. It's so weird. The Japanese men pay a certain amount of money to drink and be around pretty girls. If you get a guy to enjoy your company then he can come back and request you, after that you get a certain percentage of whatever he spends at the bar/club. Basically you just try to get your customers to order as much as possible. The problem is that I am around smoke and alcohol so it can be kinda unhealthy. Most of these guys are waaaay rich. Some of the girls are fun and sweet, some are vicious and scary! The #1 girl makes about 10,000bucks a month. The other night after work I went out with some of the girls and ended up in some Philipino club where ladyboys were doing a naked dance. Quite entertaining. Tonight I went on some boat thing. Not worth it. But I got a huge bday cake. Last night my student spent about 600$ on my dinner, and then bought me a necklace. I cant wait to finally sleep. Me and Thai guy mail everday and talk once a week. I madeout with my first 32 yr old this week and I have some date with him this week. I will be home so soon!